Respect or Obedience?

Mutual Respect, Tips & Tools

I’m sure you have days where you wish that your children would just do what you told them. No fuss. No complaints or delays. Just do it. And when they don’t do it, you might feel disrespected, as if it is your children’s job to obey you. And yet, if your partner treated you that way – expecting compliance for everything he or she wanted in the moment – what would you be feeling? My hunch is that you might feel disrespected. As a culture we struggle to distinguish respect and obedience.

Obedience means following the directions of an authority …

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Is It Really Disrespect?

Mutual Respect, Tips & Tools

We’ve been having a lot of conversations about respect at schools this month. Educators are telling us that students don’t “respect” them. When we drill down a little further, the story is that students are not obeying adults. Are respect and obedience the same thing? We don’t think so! Interestingly, one of the most common complaints from students who have been sent to the office for misbehavior is, “My teacher didn’t respect me.”

Obedience means following the directions of an authority figure. The motivation is often based on fear. The result is compliance.

Respect means showing consideration for the rights, …

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From Nagging to Noticing

Connection and love, Routines, Setting limits, Tips & Tools
Ever feel like the nagging parent…? “Why is your backpack still in the hallway?” “Can’t you ever learn to put your dishes in the dishwasher?” We keep repeating ourselves thinking that this time he/she will get it, they’ll finally do what I want them to do! Perhaps if we could listen to ourselves or make a quick video, we might see and hear insanity in action. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results doesn’t get us anywhere and it doesn’t help the relationships we have with our children.
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