
Rethinking Rewards: Focus on Finding Solutions
During stressful times, when we are challenged by our kids’ behavior, it is easy to fall into a punishment-reward cycle. We may lose our calm, flip our lids, and lay down a punishment. Then we feel bad and come back instead with ideas for incentives and rewards. Research tells us that neither work for developing self-motivation or long-term success. Punishment and rewards are alluring because they often do show very short-term success. They are also familiar to us because most of us grew up with them. What other approaches can we use when faced with problems like unfinished school …