Time-in for Children: Re-gathering Response-ability

Connection and love, Feelings and emotions, Growing Responsibility, Mistakes yours and theirs, Self regulation, Tips & Tools
Children (and all of us) do better when they feel better. Our culture tends to want to “teach” children who are misbehaving by having them feel worse “so they’ll learn not to do it again.” We forget that if the child had felt included, important, or weren’t so tired or hungry she likely would have handled the situation well to begin with. Instead of teaching by hurting the goal of a time-in is to help our child learn how to regain their “better” sense of self so that she can come back to the situation and meet the challenge. With practice, children get better at “re-gathering” by themselves. Remember, this kind of “feeling better” is not happiness - it is a sense of being able to respond (be response-able) from a centered place.
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Time In

Connection and love, Self regulation, Tips & Tools
If you are a parent you probably recognize that feeling inside that comes when you’ve really tried your best and NOTHING seems to be working. You are tired, dinner is almost ready, the table needs to be set and the kids are bickering. Or maybe you are in a hurry and everyone knows what he or she is supposed to do but you think are the only one who really cares if you get to Grandma’s even close to the time you promised to be there. Ick. For me it is kind of a frantic, out of control desperateness that starts in my chest and moves outward.
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Time Out? Time In?

Growing Responsibility, Self regulation, Setting limits, Tips & Tools
The idea that a grumpy child is going to go sit somewhere and calmly think about what they “should have done” is quite preposterous. Did you? I didn’t. When I was sent to my room I spent the whole time thinking about how unfair the situation was or plotting how I was either going to make that particular parent “pay.” Just guessing, but I don’t think that was what my parents were aiming for.
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How does your family play?

Connection and love, Feelings and emotions, Motivation, Self regulation, Tips & Tools

Contributed by Jody McVittie, MD

What comes to your mind when you think of play? Do you have childhood memories of moments of joy and reckless abandon with friends or family? Memories of giggling so hard it hurt? Or getting “carried away” jointly plotting something creative (but perhaps unrealistic). What is play anyway?

Greenspan and Wieder in their book, The Child with Special Needs, define play as: “(to) connect, to share the pleasure of doing something together, to experience mutual joy” (without forcing interaction). Another way of saying that is simply “to have fun together.” The purpose is not …

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Parenting with the Body in Mind

Feelings and emotions, Science and parenting, Self regulation, Self-care, Tips & Tools
We sure hear a lot these days about the brain – and brain science. When we hear the word “brain” most of us think of the soft stuff that is inside our skull. That is, in fact, our “brain.” But it turns out that our body is not just the thing that carries our brain around. Human nervous systems are incredibly complex and there is a lot of information exchanged between the brain and the rest of the body. We can use this information to help ourselves and to help our kids.
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