Category: Self regulation

  • Patience is Not Permissiveness

    Whether a student burps loudly in the middle of our lesson, someone calls out an answer instead of waiting their turn, one student is mean to another, or someone writes with a permanent marker on the dry erase board, there are going to be moments – and sometimes whole days – that try our patience…

  • Practicing Patient Parenting

    It happens to most of us…there’s no cream for coffee, you are late leaving the house, the traffic is bad on the way home….and then one of our children unknowingly says or does something that pushes us over the edge. Out comes that “yelling” parent, leaving our child bewildered and us feeling guilty and regretful.…

  • Growing Children Who Can Calm Themselves

    Self-regulation is defined as the ability to manage your emotions and behavior in accordance with the demands of a situation.  It’s the ability to calm yourself when upset, to resist highly emotional reactions to stressful stimuli, and the ability to handle frustration and adjust to a change in expectation.  Children have varying degrees of self-regulation,…

  • Using “Time Out” to Practice Calming Down in the Classroom (or at Home)

    Submitted by Stacy Lappin We often hear from educators that students need to be able to self-regulate in order to be successful in school. But what exactly does that mean?   Self-regulation is the ability to monitor and manage emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. It’s what helps children focus their attention on learning when they might be distracted…

  • Self Regulation Comes First

    Contributed by Jody McVittie, MD. You can probably remember the last time you were talking to your child knowing that your child was not taking in everything you said.  Sometimes we adults just say too much.  Why? Probably because we care. We want to make sure our children are well-behaved, don’t hurt others and we…

  • Making Space for Awareness

    Ever have one of those evenings where you go to bed and wonder where the day went wrong? You know that the kids were not on their best behavior but also have the sinking feeling inside that you weren’t the exactly best role model either. It can be uncomfortable to admit that despite your best…

  • Bullying and Our Culture

    Adults sometimes use power to change someone’s behavior by humiliating them or scaring them. There is an implicit assumption that the person is not already doing the best they can at the moment, that somehow they don’t care and that fear and shame will be helpful motivators. This is craziness. We know from brain science…

  • An Ode to the Wild Things

    Our children are born into an adult world where many experiences are new, confusing and often scary. They are working hard at taming the wild things. As parents, we can help our children make sense of the frightening things in the larger world around us.

  • Self-regulation Matters

    But she KNOWS better! Why does she act this way? How many times have you thought this, said it or listened to another parent share their frustration this way? And when you reflect on it, how many times have you noticed, reflecting back on one of your not-so-wonderful parenting moments that indeed YOU knew better?…

  • Time Out? Time In?

    The idea that a grumpy child is going to go sit somewhere and calmly think about what they “should have done” is quite preposterous. Did you? I didn’t. When I was sent to my room I spent the whole time thinking about how unfair the situation was or plotting how I was either going to…