Relationships Archives - Sound Discipline

How Parents & Caregivers can move on from “What’s Wrong with Me?”

Our early experiences shape us in profound ways. If those experiences were persistently stressful or traumatic in your early life, you may suffer from the results of adversity, just like millions of other parents and caregivers.

Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey teamed up on a new book titled What Happened To You? that illuminates how early adversity affects human beings. Many of us are caught up in blame and shame, and the authors point out that rather than asking, “What is wrong with me?” or “What is wrong with you?” we should shift the question to ask instead, “What …

How to Help Kids Rebuild Their Stamina for the New School Year

Masked up, many children have headed back to in-person learning. Though the academic load has not yet become heavy, the time in isolation has taken its toll in many ways.

Just like an athlete returning to training after post-injury recuperation, our kids need to slowly build back the stamina they once had. We can help our kids steadily build it back over time and adjust stamina for social interaction, focus and study, and all that it takes to be an engaged student of today. Here are some ideas to support your kids in this time:

Acknowledge the internal work of …

Rethinking Rewards: Focus on Finding Solutions

During stressful times, when we are challenged by our kids’ behavior, it is easy to fall into a punishment-reward cycle. We may lose our calm, flip our lids, and lay down a punishment. Then we feel bad and come back instead with ideas for incentives and rewards. Research tells us that neither work for developing self-motivation or long-term success. Punishment and rewards are alluring because they often do show very short-term success. They are also familiar to us because most of us grew up with them. What other approaches can we use when faced with problems like unfinished school …

Harnessing Hope (For Parents)

Hope is the belief in a positive future. It is an optimistic, exciting sense of what is possible. In this time of global health crisis, economic uncertainty, racial reckoning, and physical disconnection from other human beings, the day to day challenges of doing everything differently make it difficult to hold onto hope. Yet hope is an antidote to despair. It can give us the energy to persevere and can offer a sense of purpose, calm and connection. Parents are children’s first hope builders. Your presence, connection, and attitude can help your child be more hopeful. They look to you to …

Four Ideas for Stressed Parents

We are parenting more hours a day than ever before. In-person school, in-person play dates and visits with family and friends are things we hope to resume in the near future, but they aren’t providing much relief for parents at the moment.

Have you noticed any of these issues coming up for your kids?

stressing out over seemingly small things, like tech issues during on-line school or having to ask the teacher a question
more disorganized than usual and having difficult time keeping up with assignments
less physically active
less social and more isolated
on screens much more than usual

…

Contributions Kids Can Make to Support their Community during Challenging Times

Ideas for Children to Contribute During Protests

Make posters and signs to put in the yard or to give to protesters

Organize their own demonstration or protest

Make food or provide drinks and snacks for people who are protesting

Write letters to community, city, regional or state officials and elected officials

Research organizations that do work in a field of their interest. Create a plan to share out to friends and family. Fundraise and/or donate to those organizations.

Stage a toy protest, chalk your walk, and other ideas – 5 ways for kids and families to peacefully protest from home…