It happens to most of us…there’s no cream for coffee, you are late leaving the house, the traffic is bad on the way home….and then one of our children unknowingly says or does something that pushes us over the edge. Out comes that “yelling” parent, leaving our child bewildered and us feeling guilty and regretful. All parents have at one point or another resolved to be more patient with our children, because of course we know, they are learning from how we respond, more than how we tell them to respond. What we do matters. Here are some ideas to …
No one likes to make mistakes. Making mistakes can invite uncomfortable feelings of guilt and shame. Those feelings result in students (and most of us) thinking about mistakes in ways that aren’t helpful. Students may think that mistakes are “bad” or that others will laugh at them if they do something wrong. They may work really hard to try not to make any mistakes – to be perfect. These thoughts and feelings invite students to feel discouraged or to give up.
As an educator you know that learning requires making some mistakes. Can you imagine learning math or how to …
Traditional discipline often focuses on what not to do – often blaming, shaming or humiliating children when they make a mistake, in an attempt to “teach” them to behave. Isn’t it interesting that we think we have to make children feel worse before they can do better? Positive Discipline focuses instead on teaching children what to do. They don’t always get it right the first time, but they do learn. We can start by modeling the courage to be imperfect ourselves– acknowledging and repairing our own mistakes. We can also:
- Ask curiosity questions when children have an issue: What
Class Meetings are an effective way for students to learn many of the life skills that are just as important, long term, as academic skills. Students do not magically know how to safely get into a circle, how to listen respectfully, or how to focus on solutions. These are foundational skills that need to be taught and practiced before Class Meetings are implemented.
Before teaching your students how to do class meetings ensure that they have some basic skills. This takes time and patience.
- They need to be able to self regulate enough to sit quietly in a circle for
Submitted by Adrian Garsia Teacher, parent, Positive Discipline Trainer
For a long time I have wondered why Positive Discipline is more successful in some classrooms than others, why do some teachers and schools embrace it and others reject it. Why do systems based on rewards (and punishment) thrive? Why do I embrace Positive Discipline and at other times reject it? Why do I resort to things that look like punishment with students and why do I consider rewards when I feel really stuck?
For those of you that don’t know me, I am a parent of two children in their …