La reparación es una poderosa herramienta para el aprendizaje y la conexión

Conflict, Connection and love, Mutual Respect, Tips & Tools

 

Como padres podemos sentir mucha presión para hacer las cosas “bien” y hacer que nuestros hijos sean ‘felices’ todo el tiempo. Eso simplemente no es posible, y hay ciencia del cerebro que demuestra que los errores son una poderosa oportunidad de aprendizaje tanto para adultos como para niños. El Dr. Daniel Siegel y la Dra. Tina Faye Bryson, en su nuevo libro El poder de aparecer, nos animan a aceptar los errores que cometemos. El proceso de estar presentes con nuestros hijos, resolver problemas y hacer una reparación, puede acercarnos.

 

Los padres pueden pensar que no debemos …

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Repair is Powerful in the Classroom

Conflict, Connection and love, Mutual Respect, Tips & Tools

 

We all have ways of dealing with mistakes based on our life experiences. Some of us can embrace them as a chance to fix and try to do better next time, and others struggle to acknowledge them. The reality is that human beings make mistakes. It is part of learning and being in community together. When we create spaces in schools for students to repair, they learn that  mistakes are opportunities. Respectful relationships between students and teachers and students and their peers are stronger and sustainable  if we know how to reconnect after making mistakes. When a repair is …

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Repair is a Powerful Tool for Learning and Connection

Conflict, Connection and love, Mutual Respect, Tips & Tools

 

As parents we can feel a lot of pressure to do things ‘right’ and have our kids be ‘happy’ all the time. That’s just not possible, and there is brain science proving that mistakes are a powerful learning opportunity for adults as well as children. Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. Tina Faye Bryson, in their new book The Power of Showing Up, encourage us to embrace the mistakes we make. The process of being present with our kids, solving problems and making a repair, can bring us closer.

Parents may think that we shouldn’t apologize to children, or …

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Creating a Community Where Differences are Valued

Connection and love, Mutual Respect, Tips & Tools

Families, neighborhoods and schools are becoming increasingly diverse. This offers students an opportunity to practice working, learning and playing with people who look, speak and believe differently than they do. These are skills that will be helpful as they become older and work in the global market place. You, as a teacher, are being asked to stretch and build your own skills so that you can embrace the diversity of your students and to encourage an inclusive mindset in your classroom and school.  Here are some ways to begin.

  • Small Group Work. When possible, form collaborative groups that include members
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Empowering Students – Growing Citizens

Growing Responsibility, Mutual Respect, Tips & Tools

At Sound Discipline we often begin workshops by asking teachers to imagine a student returning to visit as a young adult. We ask them to think of what gifts or qualities they hope that student will have acquired. The list is long. It often includes things like compassion, empathy, confidence, problem solving skills, healthy relationships, respect for themselves and others, communication skills, integrity, passion for something, and perserverence.  When we ask them how easy it would be to teach a young person with those skills, they smile and tell us it would be easy. Educators have a responsibility to teach …

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Respect or Obedience?

Mutual Respect, Tips & Tools

I’m sure you have days where you wish that your children would just do what you told them. No fuss. No complaints or delays. Just do it. And when they don’t do it, you might feel disrespected, as if it is your children’s job to obey you. And yet, if your partner treated you that way – expecting compliance for everything he or she wanted in the moment – what would you be feeling? My hunch is that you might feel disrespected. As a culture we struggle to distinguish respect and obedience.

Obedience means following the directions of an authority …

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Is It Really Disrespect?

Mutual Respect, Tips & Tools

We’ve been having a lot of conversations about respect at schools this month. Educators are telling us that students don’t “respect” them. When we drill down a little further, the story is that students are not obeying adults. Are respect and obedience the same thing? We don’t think so! Interestingly, one of the most common complaints from students who have been sent to the office for misbehavior is, “My teacher didn’t respect me.”

Obedience means following the directions of an authority figure. The motivation is often based on fear. The result is compliance.

Respect means showing consideration for the rights, …

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Back to School Already?

Connection and love, Feelings and emotions, Mutual Respect, Routines, Tips & Tools

As parents, we often feel like we are still in the middle of enjoying summer, when we are drawn in to thinking about ‘Back To School’ by the, advertisements for fall clothes, backpacks, school supplies, etc, as soon as August rolls around. For many children it is an important time to begin transitioning. Lots of children move seamlessly from one grade to another, change schools or make the leap from primary to middle school without any difficulty….but for most, transitions can be challenging.   Parents can help, whether their child is making a small transition or a major one.

Start by …

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Beginning Family Meetings – Part 2

Connection and love, Mutual Respect, Problem Solving, Routines, Tips & Tools
You’ve been courageous to start something new. You’ve done a couple weeks of compliments at the dinner table or another time and now you’ll add some structure. There are two projects for this week: 1) Have a short family meeting (15 minutes) in which everyone gives compliments and together you plan a short family activity. 2) Do the family activity.
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Growing (Our) Character: Using the Practice of Gratitude, Centering and Forgiveness

Connection and love, Feelings and emotions, Mistakes yours and theirs, Mutual Respect, Self-care, Tips & Tools
The most challenging parenting moments for me are keeping my own emotional triggers in check when I am confronted with conflict involving my kids. Before I even realize I am acting from a place of emotion I am acting like the mother I so desperately do not want to be. I feel hot and tingly all over my body and, well, out of control. Guess what follows these mommy meltdowns? Shame. Shame that I can’t hold it together, that I am treating a person I love more than life itself in a way that makes them feel bad. Shame that I work to teach parents the principles of Positive Discipline and that I have failed, yet again, to embody those principles. Ick!
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